The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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