you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
