I seem to have left my pride at pride
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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