i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
