there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
This house was built for laser tag.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
