dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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