She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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