I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
