1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
