You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
