She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
