I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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