Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
