No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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