i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
