wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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