i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
