I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
