he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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