so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
