My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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