I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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