Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
