We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
