Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
