I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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