The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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