i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We have started to decorate penises.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
