Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
