Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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