Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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