but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize