Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
