ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.