I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He passed out mid-signature
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
