You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.