he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect