Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
