i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
