she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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