we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize