I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
