i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
