Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
