just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
