Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I could fuck to npr.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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