You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
