If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
They are going to name an STD after you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
