can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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