her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
