your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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