Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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