my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
What a dumb baby whore.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
