can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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