i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
