i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
