The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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