I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
