U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
