im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
